You will find no encouragement on this blog to lose weight or get fit for your health. *I* am not doing it for my health. I am doing it for a body I can be proud of, for peace of mind, to dress slutty and feel strong and powerful.
If healthy wasn't so sexy to me, I WOULD be on pills, starving myself and living off cheerios and celery and water. I'd never exercise, I'd just try my damndest to waste away. But its the sleek strength of muscle and sinew and the blessing of being a woman that push me.
Im doing this for VANITY reasons, but who cares if I end up healthy on the inside along the way.
25. VICTORY IS MINE!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
“To begin, begin.” -Peter Nivio Zarlenga
“I think there is something, more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren’t enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.” -W.Clement Stone
“For purposes of action nothing is more useful than narrowness of thought combined with energy of will.” -Henri Frederic Amiel
“Just do it.” -Nike
Speaking of Nike, I have adopted this sexy ambitious vixen of awesomeness as my new North Star in the battle of the mediocre. 
genzoman.deviantart.com/art/Nike-god
dess-of-victory-120719773
The Goddess of Victory! Half Titan and sibling of Kratos! (word @ God of War fans). Her siblings (and half sibling) include Zeal, Strength, Force and Wisdom. Pretty badass family, right?
She was Zeus’ wing-woman. That’s just… well I admire her.
Here check this out, from goddessnike.com
“As ‘Victory’ is a natural force existing in these realms, I do not require anyone to believe in me because it is self evident that I exist. This contrasts to Gods in monotheistic religions that require a doctrine of faith since God cannot, in these religions, be experienced or conceptualised.
People worship ‘Victory’ because by doing so they show their appreciation of an important natural force that leads to Hope and not expectation.
In relation to this, I am a winged Goddess because I give people the ability to soar and fly to their highest highs and reach the sky by achieving better consciousness and give hope to those in the lowest lows that they too may fly one day.
Victory brings ‘glorious strife and joyful shouts’. This is an important thing to bear in mind: the victor celebrates his success; and even the defeated party has glory because, by his act of participation, he validates the victor’s superiority.
This is where the phrase ‘it is not the winning, it is the taking part that counts’ comes from. ”
Clears throat.
Dear Sparkpeople, PLEASE ALLOW ME TO BOLD/UNBOLD, THAT WOULD MAKE EMPHASIS FOR IMPORTANCE MUCH EASIER. THANKYOU! 
People worship ‘Victory’ because by doing so they show their appreciation of an important natural force that leads to Hope and not expectation.
THink on that for a moment. Its actually quite profound. We get stuck in our heads so often, chained their by expectation. Burdened by real or imagined expectations. Its heavy, its infectious and it can immobilize us and keep us from acting.
Thinking about exercising… la di da.
Laying in bed planning what exercises Im going to do this morning… la di da.
Remembering if my workout clothes are on the line drying or dirty… lad di da.
Meditating on my goals… la di da.
Envisioning myself skinny… la di OH CRAP IM LATE FOR WORK!
Expecatations and overthinking… you just spent your workout time doing nothing but thinking.
VICTORY does NOT motivate you to dwell on expectation and living up to standards. VICTORY motivates you toward HOPE.
WHY?
I love 
elling words! vic·to·ry /ˈvɪktəri, ˈvɪktri/ noun, plural -ries.
1. a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war.
2. an engagement ending in such triumph
3. the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest
4. a success or superior position achieved against *ANY* opponent, opposition, difficulty, etc. ex·pec·ta·tion /ˌɛkspɛkˈte=
8;ʃən/
noun
1. the act or the state of expecting hope /hoʊp/ noun, verb, hoped, hop·ing.
1. the feeling that what is wanted *can be had* or that events will turn out for the best
Now, since we have the actual definitions in front of us, let’s put them together again.
Victory, over anything, including our own tendency to overthink or paralyse our body with the weight of what is ahead, inspires hope, not expectation.
WHY THO
Victory, does not require you to believe in it, because it will exist regardless of what you think, feel or EXPECT.
Expectations sit on your shoulders as a symbol of the battle to come. Its there, neutrally, looming on the horizon. It doesnt mean its good or bad or evil or pure or possible or impossible.. its just there. We have come to see expectations, often, in a negative light.
Oh there are all these expectations on me, I will never live up to them, wahhhhhhhhh (this is myself right here whining about this) STFU.
Expectations are just what is on its way.
Victory, however, comes after. It keeps you from dwelling on what is to come, but instead, allows you to revel in the happiness of success. It allows to be be in the here and the now, not wrapped up in the concern of the horizon.
Throw confetti.
Dance around the in-zone.
Thank yo mama and jesus.
Go to DisneyWorld.
YOU ARE VICTORIOUS.
not, ok… that’s done… oh god… now I have to…
NO NO NO stop that
the only thing that Victory inspires you to see in the future, should be hope.
WHY?
Because Victory colors the future golden.
With Victory under your belt, you:
~can see clearly now the rain is gone
~feel powerful and superhuman because you’ve smashed your limits
~put extra swing your hips in your finally-got-them-suckers-over-my-muffintop jeans
~believe you can take on bigger and more difficult challenges
~change your perception of your own strength
~smile brightly and contagiously
~have a better understanding of what hard work can bring to your future
~have hope that you can continue
Ahhh Hope… ‘the feeling that what is wanted *can be had* or that events will turn out for the best’.
What a positive thing to believe in.
HOPE WOULD NOT EXIST IF WE WERE MEANT TO NEVER WANT MORE THAN WHAT WE HAVE RIGHT NOW.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh busted.
Wait… humans are supposed to WANT to achieve and improve and get better?
Absolutely, whether you are an evolutionist or a creationist.
1. Evolution. Humans evolve to better the species for survival in future generations. Constantly adapting to their environments and needs as a group, to live long and prosper. (this is my summary, not a dictionary entry)
2. Creation. Man was created in God’s image. God is one ambitious dude. S/He encourages his/her creation to strive for the betterment of all mankind. If you are created in his/her image, then you are one ambitious dude/ette who is striving toward betterment. (this is my summary, not a Bible entry)
Ok Im getting off point, or I’ve made all my points and its time to wrap them up.
In order to achieve Victory, and all the hope that it inspires, which we all NEED, we must take action. We must JUST DO IT.
Turn off the thinking and turn on the action.
Victory over your mental hurdles brings a wealth of happy feelings and glitter and sunshine.
Victory over your own self-made blockade brings an abundance of determination, will-power and ability to press forward.
Victory over your couch, your comfy warm bed, your ugly pouty temper tantrum, will bring an overflow of personal pride, a sense of accomplishment and HOPE HOPE HOPE.
Victory over your tendency to doubt your abilities, will teach you that what you want… CAN BE YOURS.
Defeating your own over-thinking will unlock the passage that leads from laying there imagining a run… to returning home victorious.
TOday let’s use the power of a win, to fuel the triumphant champion within.
Champion… sounds good right? You don’t have to be in an organized sporting event to be the champion of your own world, today.
….annnnnnd ………. Olympic dismount!
GO GO GO ! 
The will to conquer is the first condition of victory. -Ferdinand Foch Private victories precede public victories. You can’t invert that process any more than you can harvest a crop before you plant it. -Stephen R. Covey Victory belongs to the most persevering. - Napoleon Bonaparte Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat. -Malcolm S. Forbes The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and that you have gotten the most out of what you had to give. -Howard Cosell Victory becomes, to some degree, a state of mind. Knowing ourselves superior to the anxieties, troubles, and worries which obsess us, we are superior to them. -Basil King I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. -Aristotle Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting. -Napoleon Hill Every great achievement is the victory of a flaming heart. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Accept the challenges, so you may feel the exhilaration of victory. -George S. Patton There is no victory at bargain basement prices. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
23. Training… All the Cool Kids Are Doing It
Friday, September 09, 2011
Some people love trends. Jumping from one to the next like those Navi people on the leaves in Avatar.Some people prefer tried and true measures without changing.
Some people go from hula hoop to trampoline to Zumba to retro roller skates to Mousercise while others run/lift/run/lift/run/lift/rep
eat for 20 years.
Regardless of what side of the fence you are on, why dont you dabble a bit on the other side?
Need something to get you off the couch tonight?
If all you do is run and lift and your routine never changes and you cannot, for the life of you, motivate yourself to stand up and workout… why dont you be a bit daring and try something completely new, super silly, ultra brave, sexy and sassy or just something that intimidates you or excites your enthusiasm.
That’s what motivation really is after all, isnt it? Its a solar flare in your enthusiasm.
If you are always running from one trend to the next, exercising all the time by dabbling in everything, why dont you pick one especially challenging off-the-wall trend, and OWN THAT SUCKER. Stick to it every day, or as often as is healthy, and master it through the end of its duration. And THEN move on. See how much ONE trend can change you before jumping to the next. Pretend that commitment to it is part of its appeal.
I know you all worked out hard this week and your muscles are sore, esp my lil pimps out there, but use that to build up your momentum. One good turn deserves another. If you’ve already solidly STARTED your week off right, THEN END THAT SUCKER RIGHT AS WELL.
If you effed up the beginning of your week, THEN END THAT SUCKER WITH *PRIDE*.
Its still the beginning of the month
Its still the beginning of the day (in AMERICA)
There is still time to make up for bad eating
There is still time to make up for fudging workouts
There is still time to take advantage of the summer weather to get out there
There is still courage enough to jump into something new
There is still determination enough to see things through to the end.
You WANT to be sore.
You WANT to feel the sweat dripping off your skin.
You WANT to smell like someone is cooking Ramen in the kitchen downstairs.
You WANT to have to wash your workout clothes.
You WANT to feel the pain when you lift your arms to brush your teeth.
You WANT to have blisters.
You WANT to be exhausted.
You WANT muscle failure.
You WANT to collapse at the end and stretch out in the middle of your cool livingroom floor and do nothing for a little too long before you go take that desperately needed shower.
Why do you want these things?
CAUSE IT MEANS THAT YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE WALKING THE WALK and not just talking the talk.
Its what all the cool kids are doing these days… Training.
Not just exercising.
Not just burnings cals.
Just just having a workout.
Not sweating for no reason.
TRAINING.
Training for your future
Training to handle the worst
Training to get the most out of the best
Training to be able to do what you have to do
Training to make your family strong
Training to make your sense of self strong
Training to make your body and mind powerful
Training yourself to lean toward improvement
Training yourself to always move forward
Training yourself to conquer walls, to shove past obstacles, to laugh in the face of opposition
Training yourself to Succeed.
22. Because It Can Turn a Bad Day Around
Thursday, September 08, 2011
There are those days that are neither really bad nor really good. But they are definitely very much not good. Not ‘not bad’, just ‘not good’. Pieces of conversations and facial expressions tugging at your focus, the temptation to lose yourself in mindless graphics all too alluring. Quickly followed by a yearning for the majority of humanity to suddenly go mute. Just so you can have 15 minutes of freaking quiet.
THis person needs this, that person needs that, both of those people need things they cant describe to me. Phone beeping, roommates trying to synchronize, gotta pee, sad sad sad creeping in all the edges, energy wearing off, being sucked out, leaking out of my eyes. Walls crumbling, defenses being slowly eroded, not a terrible day. Nothing terrible happened. I feel terrible. That happened.
ugh I dont want ANOTHER BAD DAY THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DO I STOP THIS FROM PERMANENTING??
I worked out this morning, even, and by ‘worked out’ I mean, I did my one-minute starting line for PMP and spent 10 minutes flexing sooooooo hard for before pics that I broke into a sweat. THIS COUNTS.
*cough*
How to turn a bad day around is easy.
You exercise.
Its not some big secret, its not a complicated formula, its not expensive, its not time consuming (seriously, you cant spare a half hour before you bathe tonight? for some happy?)
Its not only for the rich.
Its not only for the priviledged elite
Its not just for the young or the brave or the free
Its not just for those that can do it in posh day spas
Its not just for runners
or walkers
Its not effective only for marathoners or centurions
Its not effective only if you are at goal weight
Its not limited to those that can already touch their toes or stand on their heads
It doesnt require advanced moves or ridiculous equipment.
It only requires this:
Move
Move some more
Move harder
Move even though its getting uncomfortable
switch sides or turn around
repeat
Seems so simple considering what happens afterward.
What happens afterward?
Endorphins!
What?
Edorphins are these little midi-chlorians that erupt from little volcanoes all over inside your body. Some docs say that physical activity releases them and some docs say that the part where you actually meet the challenge is the thingie that triggers their release. Either way, exercise causes their eruption. The more prolonged the exercise, the more of this magic pixie dust is released into your boday.
What does this eruption do for me?
It renders jerks powerless.
Ok actually they are lil neurotransmitters that reduce pain and induce euphoria. I kid you not. Exercise will also decrease the stress hormones, like cortisol- which cause you to get all knotted up and retain fat around your belly. It causes your mood to shift upward via brain chemicals. Natural, healthy drugz. exercise also releases adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine. These chemicals work together to make you feel good.
When endorphins are released, they produce feelings of euphoria and a general state of wellbeing and can be so powerful that they actually mask pain. Physically active people recover from mild depression quicker and physical activity is severely associated, like, in direct relation to good mental health.
Feel like you could use some good mental health today?
If you could pick up endophins at Wal-Mart or your bodega, you would put on your shoes and go get them, right?
So.
Go get them.
Even just 10 minutes is enough to get from a not good day, to a not bad day.
GO longer and have a great one.
21. Like A Phoenix
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Read This: health-heaven.tumblr.com/post/9541873556/toning-vs
-bulking-up-the-real-facts
Believe This: thrustr.tumblr.com Chant This: 
It has been amazing being able to watch the growth of the new WTC rising from GroundZero from the top of my hill.
Where I once used to walk past a gigantic mouth in the ground, sucking in debris )like that mouth in the desert at the beginning of Return of the Jedi, the one that digests you for 1000 years), there is now a neck breaking skyscraper shooting up like a sunflower (you know thse suckers grow two inches while you are at work).
They have been working at the speed of about 1 floor per week for the last year. And they come in, every day, working their backs to death, balancing on the most dangerous worksite, in all elements, in rain or shine or snow, consistently. And thanks to their drive and determination… beautiful glass phoenix rising from the ashes, and I AM SO GLAD that I have been able to watch it from the beginning.
Not only was this recovery NOT impossible… its AMAZING.
Check this out.
and the new bright starry skyline we are scheduled to have by 9/11/13:
www.amazing-architecture
.com/280/freedom-tower-1-w
orld-trade-center-new-york-city/
I derive strength, courage, anger, righteous rage, determination, hope and a burning inner flame from watching it get taller every day. It makes me think of all the blood, sweat, tears, grief and agony that it once represented. And now… well now it’s going to be our greatest lighthouse. By 9/11/11 it should be reaching 1000 feet and becoming the tallest building on the lower end of the skyline, and by the time it is finished… DWARF the Empire State Building…
My life has been reduced to ashes more than once. More than twice. My health… well hell I burned that sht alive. My self-confidence? Sacrificed on the altar of laziness and despair. My sense of self? sigh… my sense of self is sometimes the only thing solid enough that it can resurrect the remnant of my soul.
Sometimes, you have to look back and remember when you were under the floorboards of ROCK BOTTOM.
Sometimes, you have to feel again, what you felt when your world disappeared.
Sometimes, you need to take a deep breath of the air you breathe NOW, in order to be able to exhale the stale air of past grief.
Sometimes, the best way to motivate yourself today, is to peel back that painful curtain and just do it for the girl that was lost, battered and beaten… but got back up and got you where you are today.
This week when it comes time to get up and VERB, if you don’t feel the stirrings of the motivation that gets you to stand up, or gets you out of the door, reflect for awhile on when you were a broken soul… and then take a deep breath and see how far you have come.
And to thank that girl for standing up again, embrace your phoenix today.
Embrace your phoenix
Rise from the ashes of a past that weighs you down
Revel in the glory and power of your own strength today
Do it because you never know when you will need it again
Do it because you know you’ve needed it in the past
Do it because you love you.
“Remember the Past and Honor the Future”
20. Quit Going Against Your Nature
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
What do you do with your free time?
Sit on the couch watching mediocre TV even when there’s nothing good on?
Stare out the window wishing you were a Disney Princess so you could snag a man?
Slump in the livingroom trying to think of “something to doooooooooo”?
Snack on crap?
Gossip?
Procrastinate?
Regret?
Avoid?
Daydream about sht you’ll never actually try to do?
Envy others?
Pop Pringles?
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?
Blow 4 hours on the internet for absolutely no productive reason other than looking at things you could be doing instead of looking at?
Blow 4 hours playing a video game, while scarfing Taco Hell and Mountain Dew?
OMG THIS IS SO SEXY
Is that who you want to be?
If you are sitting around hoping to meet the man of your dreams, what on earth are you going to tell him when you meet him and he’s all amazing and stuff and he asks what you’ve been doing your whole life?
Eating chips on the couch.
Right. Ok.
What about when your kids are turning 18 and 20 and they are young and strong and you are so tired and weak and you see them just sitting around glued to the computer. You ask them why they arent doing anything with their lives and they look at you with this look of utter confusion like.. What are you talking about? I AM doing something.
Right. Ok.
What about that bright shiny day when you are suddenly, by a sudden burst of all the luck in the universe, facing your dream vacation/adventure/internship/
shopping spree/event on a platter… and you can’t, because you dont have the energy or strength or courage to walk around a city/climb the stairs/wear a swimsuit/grab the zipline/jump out the plane/go in the dressing room/etc.
Right. Ok.
The human body is one of the only things in the universe that gets stronger the more you use it. Every time you push yourself beyond uncomfortable, you are factually physically stronger than you were a minute ago. Eating enough fruits and vegetables help your body create its own kind of aspirin. So eating healthy and exercising go together like… well working out and Aleve? Un-exercised muscles deteriorate at a phenomenally fast rate. For the first three days that a person is immobile, she loses about 1/5 of her maximal muscle strength. Immobility also affects other systems of the body like circulatory system, nervous system, digestive system, respiratory system. Sexy right? There are about 60,000 miles of blood vessels in your body. SIXTY THOUSAND. How’s your traffic looking? A long brisk walk in the evening can induce a mild tranquilizing effect on your brain that eliminates the stress of the day and puts you back at Start? People who exercise are PROVEN BEYOND ALL DOUBTS AND ARGUMENTS to be happier people. Each pound of muscle burns 75-100 calories every day simply by being. Each pound of fat… does not. So building lean sexy lil lady muscles, means you will burn calories JUST SITTING THERE. omg how amazing and nice is that. so awesome. cant wait for this ST challenge. Exercising, and/or frequent motion… trains your body to handle stress better. Its one thing to be stressed out… but stressed out, twitching, sick, shaky, orally fixated, nauseated, unable to sleep, unable to focus, unable to communicate your needs, exhausted, cranky, emotionally unstable and short tempered IS WORSE. Exercising also makes your brain work better. 80% of the brain is water, not solid. This means that it is important that you remain properly hydrated for the sake of your mind. Unless you want your brain to dry out like some unwanted raisin, cause you dont need it. **NOTICE HERE PLEASE THAT THIS DOES NOT SAY THAT 80% OF YOUR BRAIN IS MADE UP OF COKE ZERO** Did you know that when you OVEREAT…. It decreases your sense of hearing? No seriously, ask your doc or google it. When you just simply go for a walk, you are using and waking up 200 muscles. Not bad. Sitting on the couch… The average person farts 14 times a day. Lollergasm sorry, irrelevant but had to ‘share’. Over 90% of diseases are caused or complicated by stress. You already have all the muscle fiber you will ever have, you were born with them. But you can change their size and shape! If all the muscles in your body could pull in one direction at once, you could create 25 TONS of force. You have a governor chip, just like your car. Muscles are inhibited and almost never fire to their 100% capability - It is believed that this is a safety mechanism that evolved to protect our tendons and bones. Athletes train to overcome this neural limitation -Working out not only trains the muscles but also the nerves. The better you breathe… the better your metabolism is. The average American adult downs 45 gallons of soft drinks (soda, diet soda, Kool-Aid, Arizona tea, Snapple, SunnyD) every year. But did you know that that equals 21 pounds of body fat! Eating spicy foods an hour or two before you work out can increase your metabolism by as much as 50%. I could go on forever here, you know me. But let’s just pretend I’ve made my point that your body is something incredibly amazing, that is, undoubtedly, BUILT/CREATED/EVOLVED/INTELLIG
ENTLY DESIGNED TO MOVE AND GROW STRONGER CONSTANTLY.
It takes a lot of effort to teach your body to go against its physical nature.
Your body actually WANTS physical movement. As well as the correct fuel to allow that to happen. Its your BRAIN that keeps lying to you and telling you that’s not what you want.
Today, when the time comes to workout, or tomorrow morning, whatever- dont fuss me for time zone schematics, and you dont want to push away from the Sims 3… take these steps…
Wiggle your toes. Slide down on to the floor. Stretch out. Stretch out your feet and legs. Stretch your arms above your head. Stretch more. Feel your muscles moving under your skin. Concentrate on how cool breathing 400 gallons of air a day is. Point a foot and see how many muscles you can feel moving. Wiggle all the fingers on your right hand, above your head. Raise that hand straight up in the air. Clench that fist as tight as you can. Say as forcefully as possible as you clench your fist… LAZY IS NOT MY NATURE! Then giggle. Now GO! 
19. Like A Virgin
Thursday, August 18, 2011
No really… when was the last time you did something for the first time?
I will give you a second to think about it.
Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I did something new, I mean, physically.
I’ve worn tiny dresses.
I’ve tried new foods,
I’ve learned bits of other languages.
I’ve befriended strangers… but physically… last time I tried something new?
……..December 30, 2009 When I tried boxing? Because I refused to finish the year without getting my heart pumping from doing something brave and uncomfortable.
Wait… I had a picture…
You know how it made me feel?
Alive. It made me feel awake and alive.
Do you know how exhilarating it feels to do something new, physically?
Ok maybe we havent jumped roped or gotten on a trampoline in 15-30 years so it isnt technically new… but lemmee tell ya… your muscles feel otherwise the next day
Its scary to try something, to have the risk of looking stupid, to risk getting hurt even when you know its a situation that is totally safe (and insured), scary to leave our zone, scary to attempt something that looks like so much fun only to be splat on our faces ashamed that we tried because of such and such reason (too fat).
Think of it as the first step toward adventure though.
Maybe lifting those 2 pound purple ridiculous free weights up and over your head 25 times tonight is the first step toward climbing a rockwall in two years, and you will remember it.
Maybe walking up the long hill on the street that meets up yours is the first step towards hiking a chunk of the Appalacian Trail down the road from now, and you will remember it.
Maybe climbing on the trampoline and having a giggle and a bounce while your kids are at school, is the first step toward bungee jumping when you and your husband go on a second honeymoon and renew your vows, and you will remember it.
Maybe trying the stationary bike at the gym for the first time is the first step towards biking across America, like -DASH- did, and you will remember it.
Maybe rolling your eyes and agreeing to do those silly squats in the livingroom is the first step toward a spelunking trip to celebrate your thirtieth birthday, somewhere out in the Rocky Mountains, and you will remember it.
Maybe walking across that open vulnerable bare floor between the free weights and the Smith machine is terrifying, but its the first step toward scaling a mountain with a flock of your extreme sports buddies in 5 years, and you will remember it.
You will only be in the same place you are right now, if you don’t want to be somewhere else.
Many of you know I’ve been fantasizing about Machu Picchu for years. It’s easy when its something so far out of reach and distant.
So I’ve made a decision, and a reservation actually. Not for Peru. No.
No this is something more affordable, closer, within reach, attainable, and now… erm.. planned- so its much scary.
My BFF and I are going to do a 7 day hike of the Grand Canyon for Easter 2013. Hike/Climb/Repel/Raft (im so excited, I havent been there in 10 years, and I LIVED IN PHOENIX! I MISS IT! GOD I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK! (SKINNY))
I have 18 months.
Tonight when I do my ST, I know that in 18 months I will look back and remember all the times I lifted these black neoprene 10 pounders over my head.
So….
If you could go on any physically demanding adventure in the world, within 5 years, what would it be? (and dont wahhhhhhhhh me about I CANT!!!! this is about your freaking imagination, people)
And… how could your next workout feel like the first step?
18. LOL Silly Me, I Forgot I was in a LEAGUE OF SUPERHEROINES
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
My dearest AB girls and I are answering a call to arms.
We are switching back to our alter egos and awakening the super powers within us each.
We are not AVENGERS, but more of a vanguard, blazing our own way ahead through the darkness.
We have become complacent, foggy or distracted, lost or confused or too tired to press on.
BUT
LOL we forgot that we are the ambadassadors of awesome. We forgot that when we pull in tightly together and concentrate all of our ambition and determination and outright FIYAH… we LEVEL UP.
Yeah you heard me.
Support gone stale?
Comraderie AWOL?
Here’s what you need in a support system. Make one from scratch or reinvigorate your current situation.
The Mom - This(these) friend(s) will stroke your bangs from your tear stained cheeks and hug you and believe in you and show you in their smile that they believe that you can pick yourself back up and move on. They will kindly, yet sternly, fuss at you when you are being self-destructive or playing unfairly. Let them be your tether to the real world. Your contact at headquarters. 
The Jokester - This is one you can count on to give you a giggle or a guffaw or a hearty “Har!” when you start taking this thing too seriously. Their super power is being able to LIGHTEN UP a situation before it turns to darkness and hopelessness. The Energizer Bunny - She’s the friend that never stops, that never wavers, that is constantly fighting battle after battle and defeating villain after villain. You may sometimes feel like you can never compete with her drive or her accomplishments, but you always seem to come back to earth and remember that, phew- at least she is on your side. Good thing we don’t compete with others and only ourselves. Remember that she is an example, and a live-action reminder to press forward- not your enemy. Ask her for advice, or better yet- ask her if SHE needs some support for a change. 
The One That’s Done Already - Wha? She reached her goal weight? Dont cut her out of your life just because she reached her goals! She needs you as much as you need her. Unless you guys want to backslide together! O_o NO! She probably knows lots of tips and tricks. She’s ‘been there’ and can relate to you. 
The Scientist - This homie knows how to make all the numbers and chemicals and metabolic whosamawhatsits work in your favor! When you’re doing everything right, and still cant make headway… FIND THIS HOMIE! 
The Bad One - she breaks all the rules, uses cheat days every other day, binges like its her job, bitches about not losing weight, bails at the last minute on workouts you were supposed to do together, on races and mini goal challenges. Her bad example actually spurs you onward to keep doing the right things. “What Not To Do” is her specialty and look better simply by comparison. Its a boost to the self-esteem. She obviously doesnt care, so it shouldnt matter that you get a little motivation from her resistance to the same.
The Foodie - Find them when your nutrition is falling by the wayside cause youre bored of the only 6 healthy recipes you know. Find them when you are realising youre gonna have to learn how to cook and have no idea where to start. Find them when you want to experiment. Find them when you wanna get excited about healthy fun hands-on projects again! Grocery Shop TOGETHER so you dont fill your cart with Nacho Cheese Chips and Ice Cream Barrells and Oreos and Ramen Noodles and Tyson Processed Creature Nuggets and Diet Coke and Little Debbies and Bratwursts with the fake processed cheese inside and and and… she will open up a whole new world for you. 
The Sargeant - They will give it to you straight, no bullsht allowed. You wanna know why you arent making progress, with no sugar coating or beating around the bush? Put on your big girl panties and give this one a call. But be ready for the truth. Dont call IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!! 
The Volunteer - “Anytime you ever wanna workout together, just call me! I’d love to go for a run!” You may love working out solo and you may be terrified of someone seeing you sweat and grunt and breathe like a rhino with asthma but you know what… sometimes its nice to get out and share the road, just for an hour or so. Decide not to be alone today? Call her. No really, call her. You may absolutely love and the best thing about the Volunteer… they actually totally do NOT judge you ever. And they sweat the same amount as you do :) 
The HATERS - They are all bitches, prove those jerks wrong. You aren’t awesome cause everyone is telling you that you are, its when people start hating that you know you’re making waves. They are your villains, not your Kryptonite, remember that shizwhiz. (note to SELF here). They are your villains, not your Kryptonite!!!! 
Lil Miss Cant Be Held Down - We all need an eternal optimist in our corner from time to time. Dont hate on the perky, get infected. Being happy is contagious, and being happy makes it easier to get up off the couch when you are hating yourself and do what needs to be done. Call her when you need to hear the bright side of a bad situation so you can have the heart to deal with it. 
The Cheerleader That’s Never Been Fat - Hey she’s gorgeous and her body came from her heritage, not her eating habits and lORD knows she’S never exercised except for fun, but she loves you. She knows how hard you have to work and she always tries, in her own way to encourage you, while tring veryhard not to hurt your feelings. Maybe she joins you in eating a salad at a bbq so you arent the only one. Or goes shopping for workout clothes with you. Or she just consistently liks or comments on every single workout you post that hits Facebook from the Daily Mile. Word? Dont hate the tiny, be thankful she can see past your outside appearance to the hard working person you are on the inside. 
The Chick on the Treadmill Next To You - She doesnt mind if you secretly compete with her speed, it boosts her up as much as you ;) 
The Marathoner - she has official races two or three times a month. Geez woman! Maybe someday I’ll get the courage to do what you do. Maybe even with you? wait that’s too much Gasp! No NO NO!!! Its ok, she’s still rooting for you. Dont forget to congratulate her on PR’s, like her race pics and wish her luck though. Believe in Karma. 
The Yogi - Anyone that peaceful must have some seriously bottled up rage. No? Then go to them when you are looking for serenity and balance in your workouts and their sage wisdom (and stretching suggestion) might just blow your brain hole. Meditation and stretching are an important part of this balanced breakfast. 
The Tough Cookie - cool as a cucumber, this ally is into less orthodox means of getting in her sweat time. If your outlets are stale, go to them for new ideas and ways to break out of your comfort zone with a BIG BANG. Boxing, MMA, Surfing, Rockclimbing… you want adventure? FIND THIS ONE. The Tigress - She’s in this for the same reasons as you, the ones no one wants to admit. Bond like the sexy chicks you are plan your battles over red nail polish and skimpy lingerie and True Blood. OH YEAH Whatever your inner circle of support is made up of, cherish each of them. And if you are realising that you are maybe a bit too alone in your journey, there are ways to fix that. (But thats a blog for another time).
Next time you need to motivate yourself to do what you gotta do, grab your little black book of superheroes and ask one of them to help you with the push you cant give yourself.
xoxox
17. Breaking and Entering
I can’t force myself to workout right now.
I’m sitting here, on the couch, TV off… and I still just cannot force my legs to stand me up.
Oh my god I can feel my body turning to concrete if I sit still enough,
I can’t feel my hands now.
I’m paralyzed.
There is no reason I cant use this time to workout.
I WANT to workout.
But Im suddenly a parapalegic.
Im not making excuses.
I am not trying to get out of exercising.
Im just stuck.
I cant move.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh
….
Maybe I can do that Kill Bill move…
Wiggle Your Big Toe.
fml
I wonder how long I can go without blinking…. 
We’ve ALLLL been there.
We want it.
We need it.
We know its best for us.
We know how good it will feel.
We know how elated our mood will be afterward.
We just cant reach it.
In situations like this, its time for a little B & E.
That’s right. Breaking and entering.
Wait wait wait…how is this healthy? Breaking and entering involves force, stealth and deception, not to mention criminal intent.
What is its your own mental No Trespassing sign that you are disregarding?
MAYBE ITS ABOUT TIME YOU GOT A BIT REBELLIOUS, HUH? HUH!
Rebelling against your own strange impenetrable barricades is liberating and exhilarating. 
1. Stealth.
You have to learn how to sneak around the conscious part of your brain that is resisting orders. It’s the motion detector light on the front porch. Its the alarm system on a body thats comfortable when it shouldnt be. Its the barking dog in the front yard of your next plateau.
How do you sneak around a brain that refuses to allow you to send out the signal to move your legs? Why… you bypass that sucker on the lowdown, that’s how. Nothing encourages your brain more… than making it feel like it is the be-all end-all last-word in power. Ignoring its wishes and walking past its temper tantrum as if it didnt matter at all… CONFUSES IT! 2. Deception
Now that your brain is all nice and confused about why it isnt being listened to and how you suddenly have the ability to act without its consent, its time to get the rest of your body involved. BEFORE your brain has time to react, re-organize and come back with a stronger plan of resistence. It’s time for a little deceipt, like any rebel knows- a little white lie on the side of good, can be more effective than the truth in the hands of Evil.
How does one deceive themselves into working out?
Chant these little gems to yourself. 
I can have 30 minutes if I want to. Im allowed to workout whenever I want. Tell me I cant! Only the old me would stay right here. Fine, I’ll leave my brain home today and go workout without it. The only reason to stay paralyzed is because you’ve decided you no longer WANT change. Do you still want change? This gets me nowhere. This is the OPPOSITE of sexy. If I behaved like this at work, I could get fired. HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STOP ME! OH YEAH? WATCH ME. Sorry, I dont break promises to myself. Sorry Brain, Heart’s in charge today.
See if any of those don’t get that big toe to wiggle. 3. Force
Time for action, bitches.
Now that you have eluded the alarm system and convinced your body that it can go on with or without the support of your brain, it’s time to move.
It’s time to stand up and break down that door between you and the after-workout glow.
It’s time to kick open the gate that’s keeping you in your livingroom.
It’s time to break the chains holding your brain to the couch.
It’s time to break into the CORRECT mental state.
We don’t always wake up ready to go conquer the elliptical.
We don’t always finish work ready to tackle a 10K.
We don’t always show up at the time we planned to workout… ready to workout.
The skills you need to lose weight are not just memorizing the formulas for caloric intake vs burn, or how many cals you burn running at 6 mph, or how much that cupcake is going to set you back, or converting KM to miles, or figuring your deficit, or any of those other mathematical equations for success. You also need the skills to be able to push yourself hard enough to explode a brick wall.
That wall is huge.
It seems inprenetrable, unscalable, impregnable, impossible.
It feels heavy and unbreakable.
It isnt.
You built it in your subconscious and your heart can tear that monster down. 
Stand up.
Flip your demons the bird.
And stomp off with purpose.
Finishing something you were convinced was impossible, finishing it with fire and gusto, is far far more satisfying than checking off a scheduled wokout.
Breaking and entering is more fulfilling than walking into an appointment where you are expected.
Word?
“at that moment I realised I didn’t want to do a B&E… I just wanted to kick open a door…” -D. Cookspecial thanks to believe-toachieve.tumblr.com
16. Pride is a Magic Weapon!
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Pride is an amazing and momentum-igniting force of nature. In short, it is pure magic.
Now, I am not speaking about the evil pride before a fall type of hubris, Im talking about authentic pride in one’s accomplishments. Pride in your hard work and being able to do something you couldn’t do before.
“My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others. That is nice but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.” - Helen Hayes
“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.” - Thomas A. Bennett
Recently, my chick-BFF, Jen (SLOWGIN1), had a fun day. She moved here to NYC the end of April and it was a very overwhelming adjustment from little Bon Temps, Louisiana. Granted she already had a ton of friends here, but even moving here and having friends handed to you, snapping up an apartment and a job within a couple handfuls of days and having your BFF by your side makes it easier…. BUT……. MOVING TO NEW YORK CITY FROM THE BAYOU IS TERRIFYING AND HARD WORK.
So, her friend comes up to visit for the weekend and she takes him to see Times Square, most of Midtown, Central Park, Rock Center, etc all these touristy places in Manhattan and then allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way down to the bottom of Brooklyn to Coney Island and the baseball game/beach day she had planned.
Now, if any of you know this area, you know the MTA train system is a tangle of yarn and kittens, and that the first time you navigate a touristy day through the city, you are TERRIFIED of getting lost or killed or simply just unable to get back home. Its about 15 transfers, miles of walking and lots of basic sense of direction and luck.
The day went off without a hitch and they had a great time. That night, they navigated their way to my crib and we plopped in the backyard. That’s when it started dawning on her.
She’d navigated NYC alone for the first time. Without even talking to any residents to plan her course ahead of time. She dove in, handled her business and even did spontaneous changing of agenda and train preference and every single thing that can happen that makes your heart stop the first time you do it all.
She’d been here 3 months and was OWNING it. She suddenly was sitting up straighter, chest out, head high, full of smiles. She starts talking about everything she wants to try/discover/explore next. It was the most beautiful thing ever.
weeks later…. hasnt worn off yet. she’s still do do doing, with and without me.
First time I could stand up and own that I’d done a mile, I wanted to do two.
After 5, I wanted to do 7.
After losing 10 pounds, I wanted to lose 20.
After 50, I wanted to lose another 50.
After running 10 miles, I wanted those 13.1
When you accomplish something, it feels really really really good. Especially because you know for a fact that there was a time (perhaps just yesterday) when you couldn’t do what you just knocked out of the park.
You EVOLVED!
“Achievement is not always success while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances.” - Orison Swett Marden
If you are having a difficult time motivating yourself this week, stop and come up with a list of all the things you have accomplished that the ‘past self’ could have never done, or would never have attempted.
Then allow yourself to be proud.
Its ok! It really is!
Im not telling you to be a haughty rub-it-in-your-bff’s-face arrogant obnoxious beeyotch, just roll around in that personal sense of achievement.
Pay attention the positive emotions that follow and I GUARANTEE you, you will WANT MORE of the good feelings.
THIS is what changing your lifestyle is all about.
When it comes down to it, its not about being the BEST at counting calories, knowing healthy foods, cooking, shopping, memorizing calorie burn rates, blogging, tracking, reading, etc…
Its about self-esteem.
And its called SELF-esteem… cause it’s YOUR responsibility.
Go get your PRIDE on, tonight.
*thanks to believe-toachieve.tumblr.com
15. HATE the HATE and CHANGE your FATE
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Remember the last time that your body made you cry?I do.
I was sitting in my bedroom a handful of months ago, trying to get ready to shoot a concert in the city. I couldn’t find my other shoe. The shoe that would have made my outfit. The shoe that I needed because no other shoes would go with my outfit. And I needed the shoes because this was the only outfit I felt I could pull off wearing. And if I couldnt wear it, and I couldnt look decent in anything else, then I couldnt leave the house.
My bedroom has a mirror at the end of the bed that is so huge that it shows everything from about a foot from the floor all the way to the ceiling. I sat on my bed, staring at my reflection, and that “choke on your feelings” sob moment happened. And then the tears began to fall. Instead of curling up into my pillows, I watched myself cry. I tore apart my reflection.
The cottage cheese of my thighs.
The rolls of flesh between my tits and the bottom of my torso as I hunched over.
The way the elastic band of my underwear cut into my curves.
The batwings.
So much boobs that they look like I have a human child curled up under my shirt.
Double chin when I look down or turn my head.
Stupid fking freckles everywhere.
My right eye is lower than my left.
I have scars all over my left eye.
Im fat.
Im TALL AND FAT.
Im a behemoth.
I laid back on the bed in a maelstrom of self-hatred and the bed creeeeeeeeeeaked and I lost it. Tears forever.
My friends would be happier if I just didn’t go to the concert cause then they can be the group backstage that is 100% beautiful and perfect and no amazon behemoth would be orbiting. Kicked off the one shoe I found, stripped off the body-hiding outfit I’d agonized to find. Pulled on sweats and my roommate’s 2XL tshirt. Curled up and cried myself to sleep, ignoring my phone as it rang off the hook, my friends not knowing what happened to me or if I was just lost in the city.
I missed one of my close friend’s cameo appearance in a huge anniversary show at Gramercy Theater and let a lot of people down because I was so CONSUMED WITH MYSELF.
I dont want to be selfish, and wallowing in self-pity, to me, is the very tippy top form of grotesque selfishness.
SIDENOTE: there are times when you need to indulge your self-hatred because it is out of your control, like violent PMS/PMDD, the 48 hours after you get dumped, and anytime you hurt someone else. Do it, get it out of your system, then change/fix things.
The morning after my date with hate, I laid there with eyes swollen shut. I slipped into a different kind of self-loathing. Focusing on everything I wasn’t.
Normal height.
Tiny.
Sculpted.
A Girlfriend.
Someone people even thought of as a dateable option.
Then I REALLLLY started makin sht up.
Lovable.
Funny.
Intelligent.
Strong.
Supported.
Cared about.
Visible.
Important.
Finally I was convincing myself that I had no right to be alive because negative thinking is so damn ADDICTIVE! AND FAST!
You go from 0 to suicidal in 4 hours!
Like, seriously, if you indulge for too long… suicidal. Like.. staring in the mirror wondering if any of your upcoming plans are ones you could die without experiencing and if your room is clean enough to not be an embarrassment after the coroner leaves.
Then my phone bzzzd.
My bff.
“Get out of your head. Wherever you are, do NOT stay there.”
Message might have saved my life.
What did I *REALLY* want (besides sparkpeople.com to finally allow BOLD/italics in blogs?)
I wanted to beeeeeeeeee all those things I was convinced I wasn’t but wherever I was, I couldn’t stay there.
I had to shake it off. I stood up, I jumped up and down. I shook out my limbs and I screeeeeeeeeeamed as loud as I could. Why why why am I so in love with hating myself??
How do I love me. I have to start loving right now, RIGHT NOW, to balance out this bullsht.
I love me by… running.
I ran away. I ran and I ran and I ran.
I didnt count the miles.
I didnt track the minutes.
I didnt calculate the calories.
I cried.
I cried because I knew I had the potential to be amazing and beautiful and strong and lovable and unforgettable but I had no patience and even though it was all in my hands, I wasn’t makin it happen, anymore. I was stopping it from happening.
I cried because I was ashamed of myself, not because of the fact that I was fat, but because I thought extra skin and pounds made me less of a human and less of a spirit and less worthy of the hard work that brings so much happiness and the glow inside of us.
I was ashamed that I doubted myself so completely.
I was ashamed that I had no faith in the one person that has never abandoned me.
I will never abandon myself again.
Ever.
When I wake up, and I don’t want to, I remember the day I promised not to abandon myself.
When I feel lethargic and lazy and fat, I remember the people I let down, because I got stuck in my own head.
When I feel angry and stubborn and hate all things weight-related, I remember that I’m only angry because Im disappointed in myself.
And being disappointed in yourself is one thing that you can always control.
Hate the Hate.
Use it as fuel.
Use it as a wake-up call.
When you are crying and lost and filled with hate and sadness and shame, get out of your head. Wherever you are, do NOT stay there.
When you are tearing yourself apart in the mirror and punishing yourself by staying home from fun things and amazing adventures, get out of your head. Wherever you are, do NOT stay there.
When you are convinced that you are unworthy and unlovable, get out of your head. Wherever you are, do NOT stay there.
When you think of everything you are NOT, figure out everything that you ARE that can help you get there.
Today is not the last day to make a difference.
Today is the next day that counts toward making a difference.
Today is not the deadline.
Today is just another day on the adventure.
You DON’T have to WAIT to be HAPPY until you reach the end.
You are worth it already.
Right now.
Today.
Next time you can’t find the motivation to stand up and do what you gotta do to get closer to who/where/what you want to be…. remember the last time you lost faith in yourself… and then IGNITE.
14. The Heart of Compromise
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elling words! com·pro·mise [kom-pruh-mahyz] noun, verb,
3. something intermediate between different things
like… I want to lose weight! I don’t want to exercise!
or… I’ll exercise as much as you want me to but I will not change how I eat!
^ require a compromise
Think about all the pain and time you could save yourself with a little bit of give and flexibility.
Bad ideas for compromises…
I cant drink water, its gross, so I drink diet soda instead. I hate vegetables, so I eat them boiled in salt and butter. I never have time to exercise, so I don’t eat on Wednesdays. I hate exercising, but I still go to the gym and sit on the bike and watch TV. I buy fruity candies and treats to stock the house with instead of chocolatey ones. I cant cook healthy food for myself but I make sure my kids eat healthy. I havent been to he gym in 4 months but Im not going to go back until I lose weight because Im scared of what they will think of me after being gone so long unless i look like Ive been still working out… but Im not actually working out, Im gaining weight. 
!!! Here are some better ways of compromising, of reaching a balance between your reluctant brain and willing body, or between dragging your body behind your motivated brain…
I hate drinking water so I try to get in a couple of bottles earlier in the day so I dont have to think about it later, or one in the morning and one in the evening. I hate vegetables, so lately I’ve been prowling the produce section and Epicurious looking for new ones or at least new healthy ways to eat them, or ways to combine them with stuff I like, without dumping a ridiculous amount of calories on them. I never have time to do a big chunk of exercise, so I make do with 15 minutes in the morning and 15 at night. At least Im consistent and its become a strong habit! I buy nuts and fruits, whole grain crackers, fig newtons, yogurts and stuff for snacks instead of sugary ones which will make me want more unhealthy food. The last thing I need is junk food that craves MORE junk food. If I have to eat healthy, so des my family. I care about their bodies and health as if they were part of me. I may want to blow off dinner and order pizza as often as they do, but Im the parent and I have to set a healthy example. We do this together. I’ve been too embarassed to go back to the gym since I havent been in a really long time, but I wont beat myself upover it, because I’ve started to embrace what I can accomplish in my livingroom without an audience staring at me. If you don’t wannnnnnnnnna cook… make a compromise. Cook tonight and eat leftovers tomorrow and Thursday you can order something healthy off a menu.
If you dont wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna workout, make a deal with your devil that you can stop after 20 minutes. But if you go longer than 20 minutes, say if you go for… a half hour to an hour even though you only said you had to do 20- then you can spend the same amount of time on the couch doing nothing later.
If you dont wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna get out of bed, then you have to stay up later. Workout now or workout later. Sleep now or sleep later.
There is no ‘oh well, I can’t’.
There is no ‘too late’.
There is no ‘too bad’.
There is no giving up a whole day just cause its raining.
There is no giving up a morning’s hard work just so you can have pizza fries.
There is no giving up on an entire month because you missed a week.
There is no surrender just because you woke up late.
There is no surrender because you have he word’s worst PMS.
There is no surrender because you had the most awful fight with your boyfriend.
There is no surrender because you overate all weekend.
There is no surrender because you havent lost weight in months.
There is no surrender because you gained.
There is no surrender… Body or Mind… they make truces and treaties- but never wave the white flag.
Give in a little… Gain a LOT! Go forth and handle your obstacles!
13. Get Your Nirvana On
Thursday, July 21, 2011
When you are alone and 10 minutes into your workout, when you feel the sweat start sliding down that waterslide we call a spine, when the hair at the back of your neck is getting damp and curling and sticking to your skin, when your heartbeat is matching your pace, when you feel the boombedoom thunder in your chest and your lungs expanding, stretcing your ribcage and you are aware of none of it….
When you’re 20 minutes in and you’ve mentally balanced your checkbook, argued with your kid’s teacher in your imagination, planned out your weekend, griped to yourself about your SO, and youre doing set after set and your muscles are screaming but you are lost in your thoughts…
When you are 30 minutes in and you cant think of anything else superficial to busy your brain with and the sweat is dripping from your nose and you can taste the salt on your lips when you towel off your face….and you’re on autopilot because… without all that clutter of mundane thoughts, there is nothing between you and whatever it was that you were avoiding thinking about….
When you are 45 minutes in and youre drinking water and then…. now that you’ve dealt with the good the bad and the ugly in your brain, then you’re feeling the burn. Cause it doesnt take 3 hours to face the hard stuff, sometimes it just takes 15 honest minutes. Then you’re lighter on your feet. Then you feel your heart pounding away like Zeus’ lightning smiths. Then you feels your ribs spreading. Then you glory in the sweat. Then you have a wide open mind to refill with positivity and forward thinking and actions to take. Then you’ve dealt with the ceatures of your mind that keep you up at night, tossing and turning and tortured and twisted and gut-wrenching and guilt and pain and loss and embarassment and regret.
When you’re 60 minutes in and you have forgotten the utter sht feelings and see only what lies ahead, a new future in your control instead of ugliness lurking on the horizon. When you feel your strength and the power in your legs and the reach of your arms. When you lie on your back and stretch your toes in the air and feel your body as a machine, cooling itself down. Coming back together. Mind and body. When you’ve found peace and self-satisfaction and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you did something good for yourself and you can feel it in every muscle fiber, in every aching joint, in every deep cleansing breath, in every shaky reach for your water bottle.
It’s so so unjustly easy to get so wrapped up in our minds with the terrible and the disappointing and the unfair and countless mistakes we make. Its so soooo easy to allow that heaviness to keep us from working out, from working on ourselves, from investing in our happiness.
‘I cant do anything until….’
Has it maybe not dawned on you that the best way to tackle the things that are blocking your brain…. is to strap on some sneakers, grow a pair and face them head on?
You are brave.
We all learned between the ages of 11 and 25 that screaming and whining about not wanting to do the dishes/clean your room/do your homework….takes wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy longer than actually doing those things.
So we can bitch and moan and procrastinate and worry and worry and worry…. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere. Write that down.
Instead of worrying, pack up all your trivial and soul-crushing worries and take them WITH you to exercise. Go long. Be a problem solver instead of a problem dweller and you will find that you start trusting yourself and your decisions more. You have proof that you actually spend time thinking and weighing options and obstacles before acting…. WHILE improving yourself and maintaining or increasing your health.
Yeah it sucks at first… but then…. then you reach nirvana.
Some people call it a runner’s high…. I call it free therapy.
GO, therefore, and face the ugly. Come out on the other side, dripping with sweat and smiling. I dare you.
Here’s some awesome fitspo…
12.Get a Reputation
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I had to wait a little while before doing this one because its harder than most to put into practice. Mostly because forming a reputation requires repetition for emphasis, which requires consistency. I consider this advanced self-motivation- for those that are already deep into their habits of moving and shaking. And I wanted to test drive it and see if I could do it.elling words! reputation (ˌrɛpjʊˈte
ɪʃən)
— noun
1. the estimation in which a person or thing is generally held; opinion
2. a high opinion generally held about a person or thing; esteem
3. notoriety or fame, esp for some specified characteristic
OoooOOOoooohhh…. think about it! For many of us… when are we out among strangers? At work? nah… coworkers. Out with friends? nah…friends are there. Um…. when are we out among strangers… *scritches chin*
Running.
Cycling.
Gyming.
Walking.
Jogging.
Spinning.
Yoga.
Grocery Shopping.
Walking around your neighborhood.
For those of us in small towns, familiar communities and big cities, etc… that’s a LOT of stranger-passing. (maybe this blog is a little more geared toward us city girl runners, but what the hey)
But start passing them all the time. You run through a neighborhood 6 times in two weeks and you are going to start noticing faniliar faces, know which corner stores and delis and bodegas you can stop and ask the time, or where you can pee or who will let you stop and have some free water. You’re slowly creating a map of your runner’s world.
But reverse that, whoa! Those familiar faces are recognizing you as well. They are starting to notice that girl that jogs past their storefront, or their bench while they play chess, or past the cafe while they are getting their coffee… easily three days a week, sometimes four, maybe now and then only once… but Every Week.
How’s that feel?
What kind of reputation would YOU like to have?
What would you like to be KNOWN for?
Recognized for?
Notorious for?
This morning, I owned my newest reputation. I’m the newest running girl in Park Slope! There are tons of us, too. Running on the shady side of 5th Avenue, both ways. Lungs pumping, sneakers bouncing, breath panting, sweat dripping every where. By tons, I mean like… 4 of us LOL.
I’m learning the secrets of the neighborhood instead of just where to find the prettiest views! There is a man who pushes an actual lemonade stand around. There are these 4 old men who sit with their newspaper in front of the bagel cafe and wave to literally EVERYONE that passes, all morning. There is a lady that squeezes into the bookstore windows to Windex them on Tuesdays and she always makes exasperated faces when I pass and motions to me that we should switch tasks. There is an Arab woman who dresses the mannequins in her alterations shop to look like mermaids. She drapes them with fine gold chains and wisps of greenish and silver silks and taffetas. There are HOT DUDES WALKING DOGS EVERYWHERE. (But im in a relationship with the sidewalk).
I love that all these people are becoming familiar to me, because I know that means Im becoming familiar to them too.
In the best light.
When Im at my best.
When Im an athlete.
When Im a runner.
When I have the wind on my sweaty face.
When I am smiling with freedom.
When Im that girl always on the run, looking for water.
When Im that girl in the purple shoes, that always needs to pee @ 15th Street.
When Im that girl that’s there no matter how hot it is.
When I’m THAT girl.
THAT girl is starting to get smiles and waves and thumbs up.
Live time motivation and encouragement.
Yeah, thumbs up to you too Mr McPheely. Might be time to download Sesame Street themes to my iPod.
When you get a reputation, what do you want it to be?
What things would help you get there?
What tools do you need?
How long do you think it will take you to start building it for real?
At the gym?
At the track?
On the sidewalk?
At work?
Among your friends?
Along side of your family?
You get to decide who you are. Who you are on your way to being.
Let your reputation precede you.
DO it for the YOU that is evolving right now.
I WANT THEM TO WONDER WHERE I AM IF I DONT GO RUNNING.
graphics from believe-toachieve.tumblr.com
11. Accept Your Value
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
We all come into this world naked and screaming and helpless in every single way. No teeth, funky hairdos, covered in goo, peeing on ourselves and trying to eat our own fingers…You did.
So did Gisele Bundchen.
So did Kate Middleton.
So did Cameron Diaz.
So did Britney Spears.
So did I.
So did all the sparkers on your team.
So did your mom and the rest of your family.
Then what happens?
We learn our ABC’s and 123’s and how to use our imaginations to play and entertain ourselves. We learn social skills on the monkey bars by trial and error. We learn how to connect with people and make friends and recognise the difference between people who want to see other’s do well, and those that like to see people fall on their faces. The ones that believe in their friends, and the ones that like to get angry and stomp and pout and bully and point and laugh.
Life unrolls before us. The things we experience as we grow up and come into our own are an amazingly unique concoction that is the recipe of who we are. No two humans have lived the exact life story. Our parents are all different, if we even have parents. We all had different experiences in highschool, if we even finished. College changed everyone, if you even went to college. Raise your hand if you didn’t go to college! *raises hand*
Every bit of DNA gook, every cell, every memory, every scar, every freckle, every bruise. Every relationship and friendship and work environment, every injury and mental complex and bad day, every birthday party or lack of, every holiday meal, every family celebration, every moment of clarity, every stupid decision all add up to who is sitting at the computer right now.
So why does that mean that YOU are supposed look like that girl walking down your street?
Why does this mean you are supposed to be in the same place in your weight loss progress as me?
Why does this mean that just because you aren’t, you are not worth the effort?
Please tell me what is the reasoning that you listen to, when you tell yourself, “My soul is not good enough for me to invest in? The person I grew up to be is not worth as much as other people. I am not as bright and shiny and necessary and amazing enough to be loved. I am, and always will be, no one.”
How can that possibly be true when we all got here the same way?
The only way that can be true is if you decide it is true. I swear to God. Literally. If there is a bearded Guy, He totally has my back on this one. If we evolved from particles in space, then we are even MORE equal.
So how do you go from being ‘no one’ to being ‘someone special’?
Not easily.
Not overnight.
Not without help.
Not without hard work.
Not without a plan.
Not without fire.
Not tomorrow.
Start today.
1. YOU SHALL MESS UP.
Its ok, so does everyone else on earth. Even Emma Watson and Kim Kardashian and even Mother Theresa made mistakes. The Queen, the President, the Speaker of the House. Yo momma. Your minister, your best friend. Your children…
2. SELF-HATRED DOES NOT = TOUGH LOVE.
*clears throat*
SELF-HATRED DOES NOT = TOUGH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!
wait… let me make a graphic. those get people’s attentionay right?
And in order to be able to give yourself an occasional dose of tough love (and accept it and take it like a woman), you have to already love yourself the rest of the time.
O-HO! I made a valid point there didn’t I!
3. What kind of love do I show myself?
Actions speak louder than words, but when it comes to loving yourself, just saying certain things to yourself inside your head count as actions. People think, ugh positive reinforcement blah blah dumb doesnt work stupidity new age good lord what a bunch of idgits…STOP!!! Saying all those things IS A negative ACTION! Yeah if you say them to yourself for 4 days and decide that believing in yourself is stupid, it wont work! Cause you are working against yourself! You have to practice saying inside your head, where no one can hear you but yourself anyway, “Im good enough. Im worth it. Im not a mistake. Im not a waste of space. IM NOT HOPELESS.”
Cause you aren’t. And don’t worry, no one is listening (sometimes not even you mmhmmmmm) so you don’t look like an idgit.
What else?
4. STOP WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE FOR A MINUTE.
We spend too much timemeasuring our value based on what we do to make the lives of people around us easier. You are only worth what you can give someone else. Or make for them. How can you help them improve their situation? Be happier? Feel more confident? Or by how irreplaceable you are. How vitally necessary.
BS- first of all you have to be all of those things for yourself before they can be true about you in anyone else’s eyes. So stop worrying about what they think of you for a moment and start worrying about what value you have in your own eyes.
What do you do to make your own life better or easier?
What do you give yourself?
Or make for yourself?
How can you help improve your situation?
How can you make yourself happier? More confident?
How unique and irreplaceable and vitally necessary are you to yourself?
If you work on all those things for yourself, then that means once they start becoming more of a part of you… you will be in a much much much better situation to help those you love, care about or that PAY you lol.
If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish.
5. GIVE ME SOME SAGE NUGGETS.
ok!
TRUST yourself, then you will know how to love. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (like maybe… sign up for a new scary gym class, like spinning or boxing?) Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like ACCOMPLISHMENT. - Thomas Carlyle (like maybe… completing 4 workouts two weeks in a row?) The WILL to do comes from the knowledge that WE CAN do. - James Allen (Today I worked out, because I knew I had the ability to do it! There was no doubt!) To establish true self-esteem we must CONCENTRATE ON OUR SUCCESSES and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.- Denis Waitley (*cough* self-hatred does not equal tough love *cough*) Whatever good things we BUILD end up building us!- Jim Rohn. (Build up a streak and watch how that ish affects your confidence. Seriously, having accomplishment under your belt, makes your heart bigger) Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz (Aren’t you ready to fly in happiness?) A person’s worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves. - Jean De La Bruyere (Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BUSTED!) You are indebted to your imagination for three-fourths of your importance. - David Garrick (oh those idgits that talk themselves up in their heads are possibly right?) Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. - Malcolm S. Forbes (Read that one again. If you keep saying, but Im not in shape… you best go look at everything YOU ARE.) Ok… where do I start?
6. START WITH PRIDE.
Start by doing something that you can be legitimately proud of. So you can say, I DID THIS! Me, myself and I! We kicked ass! It feels so good! It feeeeelsssss sooooooo gooooood!!!
No one made you do anything. No one forced you to exercise. But Someone special gets to feel the swell of pride in their heart when they start investing in themselves regularly and reap the guaranteed benefits that come along with doing so.
7. CAN I HAVE ONE LAST PUSH?
“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” -Oprah
Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time. I promise your story is not meant to end with you being no one and evading the happiness that is waiting for you.
NOW GO! TODAY- FIND YOUR MOTIVATION BY DOING IT FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR SELF!
10. For the rest of the single, young, employed, dying to be thin girls- just like me
Friday, July 08, 2011
(or if you are one at heart, forever)You wanna know how to jump start your damn life? You wanna know how to dive in? You wanna know how to morph yourself into the gym bunny instead of the invisible fat friend?
1. If you aren’t actually ready to do this, then you are just a poser that wants to blow money on new cute workout clothes.
2. If you are struggling on Day Two, then you dont understand what drive and determination are.
3. If you are giving up after one week, then you don’t have a clue what commitment is.
4. If you are using someone else’s motivation to get you by… then you have no idea how much fuel is in that tank.
5. If you are lying to yourself about how far you have to go, you are already setting yourself up for failure. Weigh yourself. Take your measurements. DECIDE THAT NEXT TIME YOU TAKE THEM, THEY WILL BE DIFFERENT.
6. How far are you from the highest weight in a healthy BMI? Is that ok with you?
7. If you spend enough time thinking about what you have to do, you will NEVER DO IT.
8. If you spend all your time staring at the people that look the way you want to look, being jealous and envious… then you are wasting your time and you damn well know it. it won’t get you any closer to your goal.
9. Wanting something bad enough will get you there, because if you want it bad enough… then you are already working hard at it. If you don’t really want it… then you aren’t doing anything, are you?
10. A good hair day is the perfect sacrifice to the weight loss gods. Get sweaty. Take a shower. Wear it wet or fix it again. So what if you have to play in front of the mirror for an hour later to refix what the sweat killed. AT LEAST YOU VERBED TODAY. Most of your friends cant say the same.
So what do I do?
1. Visual Accountability.
Paint your room with chalkboard paint
or hang a dry erase board and colorful dry erase markers, bright flourescent ones
or a cute regular calendar and armfulls of stickers
ANYTHING TO HANG ON YOUR WALL TO WRITE ON OR PUT STICKERS ON.
Decorate it with pictures from health & fitness magazines that inspire you.
With phrases and mottos and mantras and life-saving sentences.
Grow a fierce desire to see that sucker full of plans, successful workouts, stickers, check marks, gold stars, happy faces, goal dates, mini-goal reward dates, happy weigh in milestones and anything else you want to write all over your ‘Life Central’ to keep your life looking and feeling badass.
2. Wardrobe preparedness.
Blow some money on workout clothes, but only if you swear on your future thin sexy self that you will wash and use them every week at least 3 times. SWEAR IT!
You need running/walking pants/capris/shorts
Shoes for your specific method of cardio, trainers for the gym, runners for the sidewalk, walkers for the road, racing socks, spinners shoes… wtf ever you need… get it. Get a sports bra that fits properly that you will want to wear. AND DONT GET A GREIGE ONE OR A GREY ONE OR SOMETHING BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GET ONE WITH SOME DAMN FIYAH IN IT.
Get what you need to wear. Excuses are for the losers that need them.
3. Ballistics and Bombardments
Surround yourself with reminders of why you are doing this and how to keep doing it.
Subscribe to Self/Shape/Women’s Health/Fitness Mag whatever fun colorful fitness based or healthy food based magazine you want. Or all of them. They will show up on the days you least expect them and most need them. Every month.
Put reminders on random dates in the future on your phone calendar. Reminders to workout. Reminders of why.
Dont put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror telling yourself to care. INSTEAD, create a custom removable decal on line, full of color, saying what YOU want it to say, and slap that big sucker on the mirror or wall or fridge.
4. Know the REAL Why.
I dont give a flying rat’s ass if I am healthy enough to bear children, grow old or avoid a heart attack. I want to look hot on Sunday at the pool. I want to turn heads. I want to feel desired. I want to feel beautiful. I want to S T R U T.
Fortunately, regardless of why Im exercising and eating right, it will still have a ginormous positive affect on my health.
Come up with 50 reasons to not skip a workout AND NOT ONE SINGLE ONE OF THEM CAN INVOLVE HEALTH, FAMILY OR GROWING OLD.
Put it in your blog and bookmark it, or print it and hang it in your ‘Life Central’ so you can see it when you are wavering on a workout.
6. Halt the Stubborn Childish Ish.
Drink your damn water or you will N E V E R succeed. I swear on my life.
STOP buying crap snacks.
How are you ever going to develop a taste for delicious fresh whole healthy food, if you sit down at the table every day determined to hate it? deciding that the only food that can make you happy has an ingredient list you cant understand, 16 packets of sugar and more fat and processed chemicals than the playboy mansion.
Seriously… it’s time for you to start being smart about what you shovel in your face.
Unless you don’t really care and don’t want to change.
7. Get the Tools
1. Sexy water bottle.
2. Sexy gym bag.
3. Awesome alarm clock.
4. Scale that works.
5. Tape measure.
6. An outfit you cant fit yet, nailed to your wall.
7. tunes to exercise to
8. sparkpeople.com (including their workout generator A+++++++++++++++++)
9. lunch box or cute containers for portioning food to bring to work.
10. AFTER WORKOUT PAMPERING KIT. (go to bath and Body Works or Victorias Secret or something and get an energizing or invigorating bath scrub and bubble bath and lotion. Anything that says ENERGIZE will work. You need to lvoe yourself AFTER a workout, more than at any other time. Get home, lather up, love every curve, caress every muscle, soothe every tendon, be reborn for work or school with bright shiny happy flushed skin and hair and the knowledge that you kicked ass this morning.
8. Resolve.
THIS TIME.
THIS TIME.
THIS TIME.
THIS TIME I WILL FINISH WHAT I STARTED.
THIS TIME I WILL REACH FOR WHAT I WANT.
THIS TIME I WILL GRAB IT.
BY THE BALLS.
WATCH ME. (click here for joy: 28.media.tumblr.com/tumb
lr_lnvqqyAYit1qm9reao1_250
.gif )
IM NO WEAK POSER.
IM THE REAL DEAL.
^believe-toachieve.tumblr.com
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
